Dress Code for the Over 40 Crowd

Posted by OLD BITTY at 1:31 AM

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Many of us (those over 40, WAY over 40 or hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a cane
And last, but not least . . . my personal favorite:
13. Thongs and Depends


(source: office email)

Lies We Tell The Young

Posted by OLD BITTY at 3:48 AM

Friday, March 28, 2008

So young, so innocent, their fresh faces turn to us for wisdom, guidance, and advice and what do we do? We LIE!

Here is just a small sample of the lies we tell the young:

Lie: Childbirth doesn't hurt.
Truth: Yeah it does! And parenthood keeps on hurting for a lifetime (all that stress, worry, the teen years, empty nest - yikes!)

Lie: You grow wiser as you get older.
Truth: You get more absent minded as you get older, so you forget most of the dumb things you say and do, so you only "think" you're wiser.

Lie: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Truth: What doesn't kill you, you sometimes wish it did, all it makes you is older, more tired, a lot more cranky, and often constipated.

So listen to Old Bitty - set the truth free, stop telling lies to the young!

The Old Poodle

Posted by OLD BITTY at 3:16 AM

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.

Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story.. Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!

Source: office email

Groovy Chick Baring It All

Posted by OLD BITTY at 5:56 AM

Monday, March 24, 2008


Jamie Lee Curtis is appearing on the cover of AARP topless! Far Out! You go girl! She turns 50 November 22, going strong and still hip and sexy. Her thoughts on getting older: "I actually think there's an incredible amount of self-knowledge that comes with getting older. I feel way better now than I did when I was 20. I'm stronger, I'm smarter in every way, I'm so much less crazy than I was then."

For my 50th birthday awhile back, I celebrated by getting my first tattoo. Perhaps for my next birthday I should bare something.
Photo Source: Associated Press. In this image released by AARP, Jamie Lee Curtis is shown on the cover of the May/June 2008 issue of AARP The Magazine

Maxine On Getting Older

Posted by OLD BITTY at 1:25 AM

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Maxine - My Role Model

Give Peace A Chance

Posted by OLD BITTY at 2:33 AM

Saturday, March 22, 2008



This past week, March 19, marked a half a decade of this country being at War. The human cost so far is almost 4,000 U.S. military members have died, and more than 29,000 have been wounded. The dollar cost $500 billion and counting.

The anniversary was marked by protestors all over the country and around the world. Some blocked the Interal Revenue Service Buidling in Washington to protest our tax dollars being used for the war. Peace vigils and sit-ins converged on major cities and small towns. Protesters banged drums and held up signs with messages such as "What's our exit strategy?" Others gathered at war memorials to honor those we have lost and read the names of the dead.

Activist in the news: One woman, 54 years young, from Cape Cod is still going strong as an activist for peace. For the last five years, Diane Turco, a Harwich special education teacher has protested the war in Iraq, (by organizing bus trips to Washington D.C. for peace rallies, letters to Congress, urging an end to funding of the war, organizing protests around the Cape, and more). “It all started when she gave birth to her daughter 26 years ago. Seeing her daughter for the first time Turco’s initial thought was how connected people were around the world. Mothers everywhere want the best for their children. ‘The world is a small place,’ she said, and she wanted people safe, regardless of what country they happened to call their birth place.”

Whether you agree or not that the starting this war was a good thing or a bad thing isn’t the issue any more. What is important is supporting our troops, bringing them home, and rebuilding our credibility with other nations around the world.

It saddens me that our country finds itself in another tragic war. I can still remember wearing my P.O.W. braclet proudly and crying as I watched the news coverage of the Viet Nam war throughout most of my teen years in the 60s. But it also makes this old heart fill with pride to know that the spirit of peace and activism is going strong.

I support our troops 100% and I am definitely proud to be an American, but I also proudly add my voice and support to those fighting to end the war and working for peace.

Some ways I support our troops and you can too:
Books for Soldiers (send books, magazines, and other reading material); Any Soldier (what and where to send packages); Soliders' Angels ("may no soldier go unloved", lots of ways to help), Keystone Soldiers - includes: Socks For Troops, Sand Scarfs (specially made to protect soldiers from hot dry sand); Handmade Afghan Project (knit or crochet 6x9 rectangles, mail to HAP who makes them into blankets for wounded soliders), and Scarf and Helmet Liners for Troops - knit or crochet instructions for these much needed items for our troops.

Be Careful Around Old People

Posted by OLD BITTY at 4:39 AM

Friday, March 21, 2008

Here'a little funny that came in my email the other day:

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " why don't you eat the peanuts yourselves?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Moral of the story: It pays to be careful around old people.

(Source: office email)

All the way from London

Posted by OLD BITTY at 4:16 PM

Thursday, March 20, 2008

If there is the word "free" I'm there (most of the time) - came across a post saying a guy was handing out free credits just for posting about his blog. Seems like an easy enough task to do, so why not.

Singaporean in London (blog description - London through the eyes of a Singaporean). Seems like a nice enough blog, has some interesting photos of London too.

Wonder what I'll do with all those shiny new credits?

Honkers

Posted by OLD BITTY at 9:46 AM

Not the most annoying, but definitely high up on the scale of annoying are honkers - those people sitting in their car honking at you. Let me just tell all honkers right now - honking is only going to make me go slower, so there - save your energy, don't waste another minute of your time even thinking about honking, learn a bit of patience and perhaps take up yoga or meditation or better yet anger management.

I'm old, tired, and have no where to be in a hurry, so don't expect me to do things your way and has fast you'd like me too. I've learned over the past several decades that slow and steady wins the race, and you avoid a lot of accidents that way too.

I have this one corner I have to make a right at every day on my way home from work. It's a very busy T in the road. The folks in the left lane next to me are 9 times out of 10 driving some huge car, truck or suv, which means I can't see what's coming from the left. And every single day, who ever is behind me will honk because he or she thinks I should be pulling out and making the right hand turn even though I can't see what might be coming at me from the left. I'm making it perfectly clear once and for all, I don't give a flying fart who you are - I will not just pull out into traffic because of your honking.

There I feel much better now getting that off my chest.

Lava Lamps and the Internet

Posted by OLD BITTY at 8:29 AM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


After a couple of hours of surfing blogs (colors and words start blending together in one big mush) - I have come to conclusion that the internet is today's version of lava lamps. A swirling mass of color and shapes that holds your attention for no particular reason, and yet you are still fascinated and continue to stare at it.

What is it that folks find so fascinating? The occasional flash of a bit of bare skin? The flashing, glittering, talking (spooky) bells and whistles? The cute and cuddly kid and animal photos? The daily tidbits of people's secret lives? The promise of big bucks just around the corner?

There is definitely an endless stream of consciousness out here in the blogosphere and across the net and it is easy to get mesmerized and end up just clicking and staring for hours on end. Of course here I am adding to ever growing mass of endless chatter. I suppose it's like the old motto says, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

I even added a little gadget over in the sidebar to count visitors and some fancy button things - just in case any one wanted to stop back now and then.

Stepping into the blogosphere

Posted by OLD BITTY at 9:08 AM

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Source for graphic: EZ Money Online.


You may be asking yourself what is this old bitty doing out here in the blogosphere. I am asking myself the same thing. Perhaps together we can figure it out.

After surfing the web for some time now, I decided what the heck, I'll jump in and add my 2 cents to the general babble of blogging chatter. As the brain ages, and my brain cells die off, perhaps blogging my thoughts, memories, rantings, and common sense advice will be a way for me to remember what I used to know as memories fade.

So here I am world - or at least the blogging portion of the world. I'll warn you now I'm often cranky, occasionally witty, been known to babble, and plan on blogging purely for my own amusement.