Best Years Are Yet to Come

"The hardest years in life are

those between ten and seventy."

-Helen Hayes (at age 73)

Nice to know the best years are still ahead, and the hardest ones are almost over.

Good Housekeeping Tip

Good Housekeeping Tip of the Month:

Always keep several get-well cards on the mantel, so if unexpected guests arrive they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.

Have you noticed?

What do all these have in common?

MENtal illness
MENtal breakdown
MENopause

and let's not forget when women start having troubles it's a HISterectormy.



What conclusion can we draw from this? Perhaps that the root of all our female troubles is MEN?

Dear IRS

source: office email

Nervous Breakdowns

I just read today that nervous breakdowns don't really exist. I was horrified!!!! Doctors are now trying to say that "nervous breakdowns" aren't real. Geeez, now the "experts" don't even want us to have our well deserved nervous breakdowns. What is the world coming too?

Well I don't care what they say, I've earned mine.

I most certainly will not let any one tell me I can' t have one, and I have it scheduled shortly after my daughter moves out of the house and I'm retired - a good long nervous breakdown with lots of naked running screaming through the woods, ranting and raving and everything. And I'm going to enjoy every single minute of it too!

Getting High Naturally

Natural Highs - who needs drugs when you can enjoy a natural high by enjoying the simple pleasures of every day life



1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from lastwinter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. your favorite thought ohhhhhhhhhh!
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hoursleft to sleep
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a newpartner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as theyopen a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

.....and many more.



Source: office email

Naked Lady

No it's not me but some other lovely old bitty baring it all. And get your minds out of the gutter you old coots! I think this painting is a lovely tribute to the beauty and grace of growing older, wiser, and unshamed to let it all hang out!

******

Source: Painting by Alice Matzkins who says “Finding the beauty in the natural progression of aging” was the impetus for her latest series of paintings, “Naked Old Ladies.”

Remember When

Fat was considered good for you and a healthy food, and a core ingredient to a happy family (at least according to the ad below).

Enough with the Commercials Already!

If there was ever a reason to start protesting again, this is it - STOP all those stupid perscription commercials.

If I have to listen to one more commercial listing all the horrible side effects (including DEATH!) while watching butterflies, flowers and children playing, with a voice over telling me but you may still want to take this Pill so ask you doctor - I'm going to just shoot the tv. And that is just one example. Don't even get me started on the ED commercials, that is a whole separate rant!

Let's have some common sense here - perscriptions should be given out by the doctors IF and only IF we actually need it, NOT because some ad tells us to go ask about it. The drug companies are peddling their wares hard enough by wining and dining the doctors, do we really have to suffer through the commercials too.

I'm glad to know all the bad side affects, so if my doctor wanted me to take the perscription I would be able to discuss it. However, I would hope the doctor would tell me the side affects and I would be doing my own research as well. The affect these commercials have on me is to NEVER EVER take these dangerous drugs they are peddling! I don't care how happy the music is or how upbeat the narrator is, the risks are still there.

Granted, there are times medication is needed in spite of the risk - but that is a medical decision - NOT something that should be sold by tv ads.

Bottom line - Perscriptions should not be sold by tv ads!

Peace Turns 50 Today

The Peace Symbol turns 50 years old today (April 4, 2008). It first appeared at a ban-the-bomb rally in Britain (1958). Today and every day, I hope every one keeps "peace alive" in their hearts, in their minds, in their homes, and around the world.

Today also marks the 40 year anniversary since Martin Luter King Jr was assassination (1968). May we never forget his message. Keep the dream and the vision alive!

Gas Prices Then and Now

THEN


NOW



Source: office email

I Have A Dream

An Obama and Clinton ticket - doesn't matter to me which one is president and which one is vice president, because who ever is vice president will be the next president in 8 years (or at least in my dream). With a "dream" team like this, my heart is filled with hope. In sixteen years imagine the good that could be done, how many people could be helped and how much better off our country would be. I would be able to fade into my senile years with a smile on my face knowing the country was on the right track again and my daughter would have a bright future once again.

I know that is a long shot to ever really happen, but an old woman can dream! I am just so excited to have the opportunity to vote for either one of them, who ever wins the party nomination.

It is an awesome election year to be alive for as history is being made.

So when the time comes in November, be sure to get out and VOTE, or I'll track you down and beat you with my cane!

Dress Code for the Over 40 Crowd

Many of us (those over 40, WAY over 40 or hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a cane
And last, but not least . . . my personal favorite:
13. Thongs and Depends


(source: office email)

Lies We Tell The Young

So young, so innocent, their fresh faces turn to us for wisdom, guidance, and advice and what do we do? We LIE!

Here is just a small sample of the lies we tell the young:

Lie: Childbirth doesn't hurt.
Truth: Yeah it does! And parenthood keeps on hurting for a lifetime (all that stress, worry, the teen years, empty nest - yikes!)

Lie: You grow wiser as you get older.
Truth: You get more absent minded as you get older, so you forget most of the dumb things you say and do, so you only "think" you're wiser.

Lie: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Truth: What doesn't kill you, you sometimes wish it did, all it makes you is older, more tired, a lot more cranky, and often constipated.

So listen to Old Bitty - set the truth free, stop telling lies to the young!

The Old Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.

Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story.. Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!

Source: office email

Groovy Chick Baring It All

Jamie Lee Curtis is appearing on the cover of AARP topless! Far Out! You go girl! She turns 50 November 22, going strong and still hip and sexy. Her thoughts on getting older: "I actually think there's an incredible amount of self-knowledge that comes with getting older. I feel way better now than I did when I was 20. I'm stronger, I'm smarter in every way, I'm so much less crazy than I was then."

For my 50th birthday awhile back, I celebrated by getting my first tattoo. Perhaps for my next birthday I should bare something.

Photo Source: Associated Press. In this image released by AARP, Jamie Lee Curtis is shown on the cover of the May/June 2008 issue of AARP The Magazine

Maxine On Getting Older

Maxine - My Role Model

Give Peace A Chance

This past week, March 19, marked a half a decade of this country being at War. The human cost so far is almost 4,000 U.S. military members have died, and more than 29,000 have been wounded. The dollar cost $500 billion and counting.

The anniversary was marked by protestors all over the country and around the world. Some blocked the Interal Revenue Service Buidling in Washington to protest our tax dollars being used for the war. Peace vigils and sit-ins converged on major cities and small towns. Protesters banged drums and held up signs with messages such as "What's our exit strategy?" Others gathered at war memorials to honor those we have lost and read the names of the dead.

Activist in the news: One woman, 54 years young, from Cape Cod is still going strong as an activist for peace. For the last five years, Diane Turco, a Harwich special education teacher has protested the war in Iraq, (by organizing bus trips to Washington D.C. for peace rallies, letters to Congress, urging an end to funding of the war, organizing protests around the Cape, and more). “It all started when she gave birth to her daughter 26 years ago. Seeing her daughter for the first time Turco’s initial thought was how connected people were around the world. Mothers everywhere want the best for their children. ‘The world is a small place,’ she said, and she wanted people safe, regardless of what country they happened to call their birth place.”

Whether you agree or not that the starting this war was a good thing or a bad thing isn’t the issue any more. What is important is supporting our troops, bringing them home, and rebuilding our credibility with other nations around the world.

It saddens me that our country finds itself in another tragic war. I can still remember wearing my P.O.W. braclet proudly and crying as I watched the news coverage of the Viet Nam war throughout most of my teen years in the 60s. But it also makes this old heart fill with pride to know that the spirit of peace and activism is going strong.

I support our troops 100% and I am definitely proud to be an American, but I also proudly add my voice and support to those fighting to end the war and working for peace.

Some ways I support our troops and you can too:
Books for Soldiers (send books, magazines, and other reading material); Any Soldier (what and where to send packages); Soliders' Angels ("may no soldier go unloved", lots of ways to help), Keystone Soldiers - includes: Socks For Troops, Sand Scarfs (specially made to protect soldiers from hot dry sand); Handmade Afghan Project (knit or crochet 6x9 rectangles, mail to HAP who makes them into blankets for wounded soliders), and Scarf and Helmet Liners for Troops - knit or crochet instructions for these much needed items for our troops.

Be Careful Around Old People

Here'a little funny that came in my email the other day:

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " why don't you eat the peanuts yourselves?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Moral of the story: It pays to be careful around old people.

(Source: office email)

All the way from London

If there is the word "free" I'm there (most of the time) - came across a post saying a guy was handing out free credits just for posting about his blog. Seems like an easy enough task to do, so why not.

Singaporean in London (blog description - London through the eyes of a Singaporean). Seems like a nice enough blog, has some interesting photos of London too.

Wonder what I'll do with all those shiny new credits?

Honkers

Not the most annoying, but definitely high up on the scale of annoying are honkers - those people sitting in their car honking at you. Let me just tell all honkers right now - honking is only going to make me go slower, so there - save your energy, don't waste another minute of your time even thinking about honking, learn a bit of patience and perhaps take up yoga or meditation or better yet anger management.

I'm old, tired, and have no where to be in a hurry, so don't expect me to do things your way and has fast you'd like me too. I've learned over the past several decades that slow and steady wins the race, and you avoid a lot of accidents that way too.

I have this one corner I have to make a right at every day on my way home from work. It's a very busy T in the road. The folks in the left lane next to me are 9 times out of 10 driving some huge car, truck or suv, which means I can't see what's coming from the left. And every single day, who ever is behind me will honk because he or she thinks I should be pulling out and making the right hand turn even though I can't see what might be coming at me from the left. I'm making it perfectly clear once and for all, I don't give a flying fart who you are - I will not just pull out into traffic because of your honking.

There I feel much better now getting that off my chest.

Lava Lamps and the Internet

After a couple of hours of surfing blogs (colors and words start blending together in one big mush) - I have come to conclusion that the internet is today's version of lava lamps. A swirling mass of color and shapes that holds your attention for no particular reason, and yet you are still fascinated and continue to stare at it.

What is it that folks find so fascinating? The occasional flash of a bit of bare skin? The flashing, glittering, talking (spooky) bells and whistles? The cute and cuddly kid and animal photos? The daily tidbits of people's secret lives? The promise of big bucks just around the corner?

There is definitely an endless stream of consciousness out here in the blogosphere and across the net and it is easy to get mesmerized and end up just clicking and staring for hours on end. Of course here I am adding to ever growing mass of endless chatter. I suppose it's like the old motto says, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

I even added a little gadget over in the sidebar to count visitors and some fancy button things - just in case any one wanted to stop back now and then.

Stepping into the blogosphere

Source for graphic: EZ Money Online.

You may be asking yourself what is this old bitty doing out here in the blogosphere. I am asking myself the same thing. Perhaps together we can figure it out.

After surfing the web for some time now, I decided what the heck, I'll jump in and add my 2 cents to the general babble of blogging chatter. As the brain ages, and my brain cells die off, perhaps blogging my thoughts, memories, rantings, and common sense advice will be a way for me to remember what I used to know as memories fade.

So here I am world - or at least the blogging portion of the world. I'll warn you now I'm often cranky, occasionally witty, been known to babble, and plan on blogging purely for my own amusement.